Thursday, August 18, 2016


I nurtured the baby.
watched his two lips suckling my nipples,
A tenderness envelopes me,
Is this motherhood?
I watch the toddler walking,
holding on to my finger for support.
Feelings surge through me,
Is this motherhood?
I watch a twelve year old walk into the house,
flinging his arms around me
feelings course my veins,
Is this motherhood?
I watch a handsome young man walking out,
leaving home in search of greener pastures
tears fall from my eyes,
Is this motherhood?
Tell me my dears,
what is motherhood?
Is it the emotions running through my veins ?
Or the toddler turning into a grown-up man,
No longer needing his mother

Wednesday, August 3, 2016

Lambasting Poets

Recently, I read a blog post where the writer had lambasted poets and their ilk, by saying that they are fake. Their emotions are fake, as according to the writer they genuinely do not feel for a cause they just feel so that they can produce a fine work and win accolades.
Harsh criticism indeed! I'm sure the writer has come across such fake people who genuinely do not feel for any cause. But most of us whether we adopt the poetic mode or use words to express our feelings genuinely feel for a cause.
For example, yesterday I wrote a poem about the poor in Mumbai, I feel for the cause. The sight of the poor suffering distresses me, and I want to do something for their cause but I'm helpless.
The writer also accused the poets of experiencing the deep emotion of love in a fake manner. The writer said that the poet simply falls in love to create a work of art and once it is created falls out of love. I beg to differ. I feel it is the human lot to fall in and out of love and I'm sure the poet undergoes deep agony that moves him/her to create the work of art.
While each  one of us is entitled to their opinion I feel lambasting poets or writers is unfair as the agony of love makes poets and writers of us all and not the fact that to produce a work of art we fall in love.
Falling in love is natural and unrequited love makes us go through deep agony which might have outpourings in the form of a poem.
I hope my critic friend reads my post and changes their opinion about the harsh criticism inflicted on the lot of the poets. Trust me dear friends Keats went through the agony of consumption and also died at a tender age. His unrequited love is expressed in his beautiful poems.
So think through your criticism and don't judge all poets by a harsh pen.

Tuesday, August 2, 2016

The city of Mumbai

Lost in my reverie I walk on the road
Shaking my head at the bystander reaching out to me to ask for some money
my reverie is shaken as my thoughts shift from my job to the poor condition of the beggar
Thoughts rush to my head whether the mangled condition of the beggar was caused by an accident or the notorious beggar mafia had cut off his hands and legs.
I shudder at the thought
I wonder whether to drop a coin in his bowl or to move on unaffected
This is a daily sight for me as I traverse through the length and breadth of this city called Mumbai
I wonder at the ruthlessness of the beggar mafia.
With these thoughts I move on to watch many such ugly sights
I wonder at the disparity that this city offers.
The poorest of the poor and the richest of the rich live across the road from each other
Why this disparity?
Why this suffering in this city that offers opportunity to all.
With these thoughts in my head I walk on again lost in my reverie
but this time of a different kind

Friday, June 17, 2016

Nurturing life

One day while going for my walk I saw a small plant raising its head and trying to grow from the earth I walked on inspired by the struggle of the plant.To me it represented the struggle of life we all undergo.
After several days had passed I saw two green leaves shaking from the plant. its struggle was bearing fruit. I thought about my life and thought my struggle too would bear fruit.
Several days passed and the plant bore a bud. I felt excited as I was seeing my life in the growth of the plant.
Next day I saw someone had uprooted the plant and thrown it. Dejected I picked up the plant and brought it home. I planted it in my garden and today it is a beautiful rose bush.
I see the metaphor of life in the growth of the plant. As life thrives when nurtured with attention and care and withers away when left unattended so did my plant.
So care for life in whatever form it comes your way.

Tuesday, June 14, 2016

The making of hard Jake

As I look yonder below the cliff I see the mighty sea. I think of my life as a sailor. I have sailed through the world. I have seen life at close quarters and experienced the highs and lows of life. I have two wonderful kids and am happily married. But this is not my story. This is the story of hard Jake, and how he acquired such a strange name. He was not always hard and serious. He was a boisterous, affable and lovely boy who had one love in life and that was red lipped Gina.
We were all residents of Goa and life was good. Merchant navy is a good profession and you get to see a lot of life, I had sailed a lot with hard Jake and can vouch for the fact that he was a hard working lad.
Let us go to the time when hard Jake did not have that nick name and was simply Jake ( I didn't know him then). People say that he was a very charming lad and was loved by all. Hard working and sincere he was the apple of his captain's eye.
Let me also tell you about red lipped Gina, she was a pretty gal with a laughter that sounded like bells jingling. She was Jake's love interest and was very popular.
One day there came green-eyed Romeo on the shores of Goa. He was not a native of Goa, and had sailed from a far off land. Nobody knew his actual name. Everybody called him green-eyed Romeo because of his green lusty eyes. From the beginning he had eyes on Gina. He would cast lusty long looks on Gina, who was aware of this but ignored him.
One night Gina had gone for a party, she was looking lovely in red dress and had applied red lipstick which looked lovely on her. Jake had gone sailing and Gina missed him. It was a dark night and she returned late to her apartment.
Green-eyed Romeo had followed Gina to her apartment and knocked on the door. Wondering who was it at this late hour Gina went to answer the door. She saw Green-eyed Romeo and was about to shut the door in his face. But he barged in and caught hold of her hands. He then struck a hard blow on Gina's face which sent her reeling. He next pushed her on the bed and parted her legs and raped her.
Gina was reeling with pain she took a rope and hung herself from the fan.
When Jake returned from ship he came to know that Gina had committed suicide.He was shocked. He also came to know that people had seen green-eyed Romeo entering her apartment. He immediately rushed to green-eyed Romeo's shack and struck him a blow. He hit green-eyed Romeo hard but being a law abiding citizen he did not kill him.
He was heart broken and spent many days at the bar drinking himself to the death. But gradually he sobered and went about life as usual. But life was not the same without Gina and the happy lad had turned into a hard man who did not have feelings for anyone. People started calling him hard Jake and when I came to know his story I told Jake to move on in life but he said there was no life without Gina.
Jake is an old, lonely man now. He never took another partner and lives a lonely life.

Wednesday, June 8, 2016

Portrait of my teacher

She was a woman short in height with sturdy legs that were pock marked. Her sturdy legs and plump body carried her everywhere. A familiar figure in the small town where I lived. She was a mother of two. Her son was afflicted with down's syndrome and daughter was married when I first came to know her.
A strict teacher, she enjoyed teaching and went about the chores of life in  a disciplined fashion. A fighter to the core she used to walk to the school where she worked. Sari tied high on her torso, one could see her sturdy legs peeping beneath her sari. I didn't like her as a teacher but she was an inspiration to me.
Nobody ever saw her husband, perhaps he was no more or perhaps she was separated from her husband. The word divorce cannot be associated with a traditional woman like her. Come to think of it, she didn't look like a woman who needed a husband to complete her life.
I have seen single men complaining that they have to look after their children alone. But never did my idol complain. She proudly paraded her son afflicted with down's syndrome and looked after her daughter when the daughter was pregnant.
I wonder where she is now? Is she broken down in spirit or is still her tall, proud sturdy self?I thank life for giving me a glimpse of a tall woman who was short in height.

Monday, June 6, 2016

Writing poems

I'm not a poetic soul, hence writing poetry doesn't come naturally to me. Yet I have taken to writing poems inspired by a friend. Poems help me satisfy the sudden impulses within me. I don't follow any rules of poetry just pen down my feelings. Hope my poems appeal to my readers. Please comment on my poems and let me know how you have liked them. I express my inner self through my poems and in the process let go the stress which has been bothering me. In one of my poems I expressed the inner torment that I was going through. It helped me get rid of the noises within my head. I wish my readers would comment and let me know what they think of my poems.
My favorite genre is short story and I have read short stories of O'Henry, Guy De Maupassant, Ruskin bond, RabindranathTagore, Anton Chekov and many others. Short story as a medium appeals to me.
I began writing short stories when I was in the 12th Grade. I didn't publish my first story and I'm planning a book ( A novel). But it is still to see the light of day. I want to write about life as I have experienced it. The joys, the sorrows and the pitfalls. Each event shaping my personality.
I think of myself as an optimist, still better a realist with positive leanings. I have gone through a lot of pain and suffering at the personal level. But it has not made me bitter, rather I have developed sensitivity towards my fellow beings.
Pain of dejection, unwarranted sufferings have all been my lot and I want to write a story with a positive end, though life doesn't always give happy endings but I feel my cloud always has a silver lining. I will begin my novel soon. Till then keep reading my blog and commenting on the posts.

Wednesday, June 1, 2016

You feel I don't understand your pain

You feel I don't understand your pain.
The pain of lost moments,
a feeling of incompleteness
The futility of expecting
from a person who failed to understand you.
You an achiever
a dynamic personality
a vibrant person flowing through life like a river
gushing with energy at the bends.
He a weakling in spirit and physically.
Do you think you did justice to yourself by
bestowing all your love and warmth on an undeserving person
A man who did not understand the sense of completeness a woman requires.
No, dear you didn't do justice to yourself and others by wasting your inner self on
an undeserving soul.
Rise afresh and look around there are good men around you.
Yes, dear I understand that you hesitate and falter from
unrequited memories but believe me there are greener pastures just yonder
Just look around and reach out your hands.

Sunday, May 29, 2016

Letting go off

Today, I decided to let go off old resentments, hurts and embrace life. It is such a fine feeling. It is almost a feeling of exhilaration. I reached out into the past and connected with people who had hurt me in the process I learnt to let go. I'm not forgiving as there is nothing to forgive. The people who had hurt my feelings did not care and did not ask for forgiveness. I have simply opened the chain around my heart and let feelings and emotions pour.
Trust me friends letting go is a great feeling. It is like surrendering to water ( to use an analogy from my favorite sport swimming), you are washed clean, refreshed and rejuvenated.
You reach out to life and embrace it and you are in a joyous mood. Singing and loving and ready to be loved.
When we enchain our heart with resentment we add bad cholesterol to our arteries and create blockages in our heart and when we learn to let go we breathe in fresh air and give a new supply of blood to our hearts.
Letting go is yoga, you remove all the pain and strain from your body and breathe deeply thus rejuvenating your body. All saints and visionaries advise us to let go. To love and be loved in return. If one allows one's soul to be washed clean one is ready to attain nirvana and what is nirvana but a sense of wholeness.
Letting go does this to you and more it teaches you to embrace life and in the process become one with God.

Saturday, May 28, 2016


After a long time I swam well today. I had forgotten swimming and was sad about it. But today I recalled and went back to the time in 2002 when I used to play with children in the swimming pool in Pune. It is an exhilarating feeling and has left me very excited.
I did vigorous exercise for one hour and am feeling very refreshed.It is almost therapeutic and makes one look forward to the whole day.
I would suggest everyone who can to take up this exercise and increase their stamina. I have been going to the gym for the past two weeks and used to swim on weekends. But today I recalled how I used to swim and gained back my prowess at the exercise.
Dear friends follow an exercise regimen as it refreshes you, thrills you and sends adrenaline pumping into your nerves, An early morning swim prepares you for the whole day. Morning cuppa in peace and one hour of swim and a nutritious breakfast makes you fit for the whole day.
I can't explain in words my feelings today and would like one and all to share this feeling.
To sum it up, take up swimming if you can ( that is if you have a pool at your disposal) and enjoy a healthy life.

Friday, May 27, 2016

Responding to natural causes

Today,I read an editorial in Femina, the editor had written about how often we respond to natural causes. Do we consider the cost to pollution when we buy a new cellphone or when we buy a new car?She had further written that our efforts towards conserving the environment make a mockery of the cause of pollution.
How often do we think about the torture endured by an animal when we buy that purse made of pure leather or we buy a shoe made of leather.
It was a short editorial but it set my thoughts rolling. I wondered how wonderful would the city of Mumbai become if every time we throw a wrapper we think about the poor man or woman who cleans the trash thrown by us.
Every tree that we plant adds to the cause of environment. We should proactively consider the cause of environment and show sympathy and empathy towards our fellow human beings and also towards our fellow creatures.
Dear reader start thinking about the environment and our fellow creatures before you reach out for that expensive cellphone or that calf leather purse.
Let us all take a pledge that we will think sensitively about the environment and our fellow creatures before we reach out for that expensive shoe made of pure leather.

Sunday, May 22, 2016

XII standard results

Once again the twelfth standard results are out and a girl who scored 74% is sad because she did not do well. My dear girl, marks are a mere record of how you perform on a particular day in three hours. You may have a headache or may not be feeling particularly well. So, marks are in no way an indication of your capability.
In our school days the toppers used to get 75% to 80% and were they in any way less than today's toppers who score 98% and higher, no in fact they had deep knowledge and even those who did not score so well did well in life.
My memory takes me back into the past and I recall my twelfth standard results where I had flunked in Chemistry. I actually wrote a story to vent out my unhappiness with my bad performance in my 12th standard exams. So my failure in exams gave rise to my creativity.
One of my friend who had also scored low marks in twelfth standard is a trainer and is doing very well in life.
One of my friend an IITian and a school topper told me that Laya, marks matter in school and college days. Later on in life if you are reasonably happy with what you are doing it is okay.
I scored 70% marks in English literature but I recall nothing of what I studied and am pursuing something far away from literature.
This rat race for marks is the bane of Indian culture, we as a culture are into two extremes either we do not educate the children and marry them off early or we push children into scoring high marks and force them into careers they do not like.
We are proud of Indians who are doing well in life but were they all school and college toppers, I doubt it.
Instead of pursuing marks you should  believe in unleashing your personality and develop your talents and passion and I would like to say that let us not make headlines out of how many marks a student has scored. Let us encourage children to pursue their true passion and let us respect all professions instead of madly chasing engineering and medical.
Let us take a vow that we will not laud the scores of any student whether he has scored 90% or less. Rather we will laud those who display a hidden talent and prove their capability to the world by pursuing their passion.

Friday, May 20, 2016

Barkha Dutt at the receiving end of misogynistic remarks

Today I read that the renowned TV anchor Barkha Dutt was at the receiving end of misogynistic remarks. It is a shame as the lady is dignified, intelligent, outspoken and does not warrant such vilification. Indians should hang their heads in shame as they can't tolerate an independent woman who speaks for various causes.
Most people feel that it is lack of education that is the root cause of such activities but believe me it is the Indian mindset that cannot see a woman who is living life on her own terms happy. I recall the remarks made by a colleague of mine on girls who are ready for the casting couch to further their careers as somebody who is giving her everything. While I agree that it is not right to use the casting couch to further one's career it also should not amount to giving one's everything. The vagina is an organ like any other and should not be treated as a place of worship.
It reflects a person's frustration and nothing else when he/she resorts to personal abuse to express their opinion.
I'm sure Barkha Dutt has not paid no heed to such remarks but I feel sad that our nation is not progressing from the level of vilification to vent out frustration.

Monday, May 16, 2016

Life is a mystery

Life is a mystery
seeped in history
full of curious moments,
The moments both joyous and sad
decide what the learning curve of life will be.
Will it be an upward incline showing progress and growth or
a downward decline showing sinking into the depths.
If I were to draw a graph of my life it would be a rise in terms of progress as
well as decline showing moments of doubt and grief.
My life is a mixed bag and I wonder how the graph of lucky and successful people would be
However the unfathomable mystery of life
continues to fascinate me.

An incident from school days

This particular incident took place when I was in the 6th grade. Our SST teacher, Mr. Verma had assigned our class a project. He asked us to make maps of several countries. We all made our projects and submitted it. One student of our class, Lata made a beautiful project. It was hard to imagine how a child of 6th grade could make such beautiful diagrams, but then some people are gifted. I believed that she had made it herself and also wanted to emulate her.
Our teacher also believed that she had made it herself and gave her a score of ten on ten, However one student in our class couldn't digest the fact that one of his classmates had made such a beautiful project. He went to our teacher and told him that Lata had not drawn the diagrams and her father who was a draughtsman in Air force had done the project work for his daughter.
Now, our teacher was in a fix. He had assigned a score of ten on ten to the girl and when questioned, Lata swore that she had made it herself. She even began crying to prove the veracity of her statement. Our teacher told her to draw the maps in front of him. The girl could not do so. She said that in her home she could draw the diagrams as there was space and it was peaceful. In class she couldn't do it as there was disturbance. Maybe she was telling the truth or maybe she was lying, however our teacher changed her scores and gave her lower scores. To this day I remember the incident as it had left a deep impact on me and I had believed that Lata had drawn the diagrams herself.  I Don't know what the truth was and to this day wonder whether the girl had made the project herself or her father had helped her. More stories of my impressionable years in my blog later...

Tuesday, March 15, 2016

Ecstasy and Anticipation

Lovers embrace
The sense of ecstasy that they feel while anticipating love
Is it felt in the culmination?
Is the anticipation on embracing greater than the ecstasy felt in culmination?
I wish someone would answer me and give respite to my wandering thoughts.
Thoughts that cling as the sweat clings to the brow and then falls off.
why do people chase love?
Is the culmination of love as magical as the anticipation of it?
O mind rest for your question shall not be answered.

New Horizons

New horizons beckon to me,
With thumping heart I make my way
through the maze of confusion
meandering pathways
Add to the ecstasy of finding  new horizons.
They say life is a journey
not a destination,
so, enjoy the journey and revel in the memories
created of moments felt through sensuous exploration of the journey.
The journey that is the search for new horizons which are beckoning to me
Come hither you wandering soul
Explore the pathways
and find your fulfilment.
I look eagerly at the pathway measuring the distance to be travelled in my mind.
The journey keeps me alive full of anticipation
I meander through the pathways looking surreptitiously at the moments created of
the experiences felt during the journey.
The pathway is long the journey is exhausting yet
I'm sure I shall attain nirvana once I have found new horizons.

Sunday, February 14, 2016

Updating my status

It's been a long time since I wrote any post. I have been busy and have not been able to think and write anything. I will devote this post to generally updating my readers of my doings. I decided to change jobs so right now I'm in between jobs. Changing jobs makes one a little adventurous as one starts looking for greener pastures, one starts exploring the job market. I have begun visiting offices for job prospects. I am also searching the net and other job portals.
In spite of the fact that I have changed jobs and am now looking for options. I have not found time to write. Somehow I wasn't able to write anything. As a freelance writer I have done lot of writing for various niches, which has exposed me to different worlds. It has enriched me as a person as I have been able to get a grasp on different topics and this insight helped me write.
Presently I'm writing this post at somebody's behest as they asked me to keep updating my writing skills.
Come to think of it, I want to ask if anybody knows about the expression taking the law into one's own hands? Does it exist in English or it is a literal translation from another language? I used it in a story I wrote about a good hearted person who becomes hard hearted due to the treatment that life metes out to him. It was an emotional story that had strong emotions, passion and vendetta thrown in. I enjoyed writing it.But all the while I was writing I was bothered by the appropriateness of the expression. Please write in if you come to know about the expression or just to chat with me. That's all for now, more musings later...