Ezine

Thursday, September 24, 2015

The struggle

The eternal struggle within the mind wears me out,
A struggle of existence, qualitative living and eternal peace
I think, I deny and I acknowledge all three placed side by side
I wish for some respite from this struggle.
I wish somebody could tell me if they also go through this struggle
Is it normal to struggle in the mind, feel apprehensive sometimes, delirious at other times,
When I look back at the past and think of the times when I was 21-22 years of age
I didn't go through this struggle
My mind was not crowded with thoughts ugly and beautiful and sexual,
I wonder if these are my thoughts or some outside source has planted them in my mind?
Oh God! help me to find respite from these thoughts.

Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Freelance writing

Dear friends,
It's been a while since I addressed my readers and wrote a post. Today I will discuss the origins and the pros and cons of working as a freelancer  A fellow scribe has discovered that the word existed during the times of Sir Walter Scot and has been mentioned in Ivanhoe. However there it refers to a soldier who offers his services and weapons to the highest bidder. Freelance as it is used, today refers to working independently. We will not go about tracing the etymological roots of the word. Let's rather discuss the advantages of working as a freelancer.
Firstly, you are your own boss. You can work according to your convenience and also earn as much as you want. On the flip side, you don't get a fixed income so when you are on a low phase it is difficult to make both ends meet. When I worked as a freelancer I was working for two companies and earning a decent package. I had to visit two offices and juggle between two companies. It was fun but now that I have a full-time job, I look back on my freelancing days with nostalgia.

Monday, September 14, 2015

Euphemism

Euphemisms all.
Is this world full of euphemisms or,
Is there a reality?
Life is full of euphemisms
How do I remain sane in such a world?
I seek reality, happy or sad
but give me a dose of reality, not euphemisms
They keep you drugged
Under a stupor
incapable of facing reality.
Give me reality
no euphemisms, please.

Thursday, September 3, 2015

Songs

I was just now listening to Badi sooni sooni hai...the song never fails to touch me. Similarly whenever I listen to the song ae majhi re apna kinara nadiya ki dhara hai...I'm touched. These songs touch the very core of your being. I also love main pyasa tum sawan main dil tum meri dhadkan... also jaane kaise kab kahan ikraar ho gaya.
Among the English numbers sacrifice by Elton John never fails to move me. It is surprising how these songs move your soul. With songs in my head I can go on working for hours. Dear readers comment and share which songs move you. For my Indian readers they will immediately identify with the first four songs I have mentioned. The first two are about loneliness and the next two are romantic numbers.
Sacrifice is a special song. I love the way Elton John sings its not sacrifice just a simple word...
I'm winding up this post will write more about thoughts that come in my head.

Wednesday, September 2, 2015

Back to Work

With songs in my head
I feel the warmth of arms enveloping me
I have known this feeling before
Can't have traversed the long path of life
without experiencing this warmth
My thighs shiver in anticipation
I feel the familiar warmth washing over me
What is this confusion at this stage in life?
Suddenly I feel the sunlight hitting my eyelids
And I'm jolted from my reverie.
It was only a dream
Let's get back to work

Lonely Soul

My lonely soul looks for a helping hand
A hand that I could reach out to
Will it lovingly clasp mine or shrug it aside?
Am I wallowing in self-pity?
Dry-eyed I can't be indulging in self-pity?
I'm only exposing my lonely soul
They say you are born alone and die alone
I too am aware of this
Yet my lonely soul looks for a hand that would firmly grip mine
and provide my thirsty soul moments of suffusion from the parched moments

Inner Torment

This inner struggle
When will it end?
Will it make me a stronger human being?
Or be the end of me?
Oh! the confusion,
the self-doubt
Do I need to discover myself once again?
Or I know myself well enough
This inner torment is it guiding me to other shores?
Or reminding me to be satisfied with my lot?
If only I could find answers to these self-doubts
Ah someday I too will find my respite
Till then O mind rage on...