Friday, December 8, 2017

The evening walk

I set out on my regular walk. During my daily evening walk, I covered a distance of about 5 kilometres. This was not an exercise for me, but actually my way of seeing the outside world. I was young, barely 15 years old, going on 16. Life seemed interesting and exciting. So many things to see. Familiar and unfamiliar faces to encounter. Some of the people I met were known to me. Some were familiar faces as they were people whom I did not know personally but encountered daily or frequently during my 5-kilometre long walk. Among these faces, there was a young Russian gentleman, whom I fancied. He was quite tall. About 6 feet in height. Ruddy complexion. I assumed he was an aeronautical engineer. I encountered him in the vegetable market. The Russians had come to HAL near Nasik to work on the MIG 21 fighter plane which was purchased from Russia. I used to encounter many Russian couples in the vegetable market. This gentleman however always seemed alone. He looked around 22-24 years old. He did not notice me but I would blush every time I saw him. My fancy for this gentleman remained a dream as he never noticed me.
Very soon my father got transferred to another station and this was the end of my crush.

Saturday, October 28, 2017

Fifty shades of grey my viewpoint

Some time back I took to reading Fifty Shades of Grey, a novel by E L James. Well to put it simply the book is a test of your intelligence. From one lovemaking scene to another the plot moves on. Sad to say I found it difficult to finish the book. The plot so far as I read it is deplorable. A control freak man makes a horrendous proposition to a 21-year-old self-respecting woman. How she accepts it is indeed a test of your wits. The titillating lovemaking scenes are not worth reading. To put it simply the book is a real drag. I have yet to finish the book, wondering how I will finish the book. The only curiosity that drives me to read the book is to know why Christian Grey became such a control freak? Is it because he was seduced by one of his Mom's friends at 15 and who should have known better what would be the effect of her effrontery on the young boy. It seems in the earlier relationship ( between Christian's Mom's friend and Christian Grey) he was the submissive in the sexual games and in the latter relationship between Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey, Anastasia was supposed to be the submissive. The fellatio described between Anastasia and Christian Grey is supposed to be a high point in their otherwise sadomasochistic relationship. It is difficult to figure out how a man who is otherwise protective and caring could be such a control freak. There is a lack of balance in the characterization. I hope to finish the book and maybe the end will shed some light on why E L James undertook the exercise of writing such a book. Till where I have read the book it is deplorable. 

Sunday, October 15, 2017

A Complete Woman

A woman I am wavering and moist.
Shaken by the triflest of turmoils.
Yet I am strong from inside,
Though soft as butter I appear from outside.
Life is an uphill climb for me at times.
When I choose to make things tough for myself.
It is a downhill spree when I am happy and full of high spirits,
I am a happy woman though at times I choose to be down in the dumps.
Is it always my choice how life appears to me?
I think so and so it is.
I make hell of heaven and heaven of hell,
By choosing to interpret or misinterpret things.
I have mood swings and I throw temper tantrums.
I am a woman of all colours.
Representing all shades of life.
I celebrate myself as a woman who is not perfect.
Neither do I want to be perfect.
What I want to be and I am is a complete woman.

Saturday, October 7, 2017

Bespectacled me

Bespectacled me, Bespectacled me
Peering through my glasses at the world
What do I see?
Sharp clear pictures, clear images
Do I also see the mind's eye?
Nay I see not, the inner mind of anyone.
I only see sharp clear images of the self and the world.
Oh! How I wish I could see further.
Take a peek into another world.
How I wish my bespectacled self could see far beyond the eye can reach.
My inner vision can see my mind's eye.
But alas! no way to see the mind's eye of my fellow beings.
Bespectacled me, Bespectacled me
reach out to the souls of those around you which is visible in the eye.
The clear bespectacled vision gives a clearer perspective and
I am able to reach out to the souls visible through the bespectacled vision.

Tuesday, October 3, 2017


Ah! Womenfolk, the enigmatic inhabitants of this world.
Many a poet has spent his pen in unraveling this enigma.
Are they truly enigmatic characters?
Or are they humans of flesh and blood?
Absolutely emotional characters.
Do they ooze charm and enigma?
Or are they victims?
When I think of all the women who work hard day and night.
Toil for their family and happiness of their husband and children
Do enigma and charm remain in their souls?
Or they become victims of the society?
Forced to lead a life, not of their choice.
But of society.
They do what is expected of them.
Rather than what they want to do.
In their toil to complete the household chores,
Does their hidden talent go waste?
Do they think about using all their reserve of strength to express their inner selves?
Yes, I am talking about  millions of women who inhabit this earth,
Who spend their day and night toiling for their family.
Not the lucky few who have the chance to become enigmatic
but the millions who bare their souls to keep their family together.
Who are the truly enigmatic women the toilers or the lucky few who ooze charm and enigma?

Wednesday, September 27, 2017

Happy Me

As I go through my writings,
I sift the content to separate the grain from the chaff
Poems written in half stupor or as the mood took me
I look for fine lines and beautiful thoughts.
They are aplenty in my writings but so are the chaff
Poems or stories, written in a huff
Do I regret the lamenting of my mind
No, I don't because those were the words that released me
Gave me a respite from thoughts roaring in my head.
Today I am a calm soul
Happy with myself and satisfied with life.
This stage I have reached by blurting out all the noises raging in my head.
Today I am at peace with myself and the world.
I look back at the road traversed and wonder
Have I indeed come a long way?
Maybe I have
and the sense of peace I feel is from goals reached and words
written on paper. This is me, the real me the calm soul
the rested mind and the happy being.

Monday, August 21, 2017

The lesson of life

As I walked down the hill
lost in my reverie.
Noticing some and ignoring some sights and sounds.
The sight of an insect sticking to the stem of a green plant
held my interest.
The myriad hues of the insect contrasted with the greenness of the plant and leaves
Created a beauty of its own.
Mesmerized by the sight I stopped to observe the insect
I wondered at its lifespan
Short, colorful and interesting.
It did not harm anybody (maybe the plant it was feeding on)
It did not go through highs and lows of life.
Yet, it had a risk to its life, which would further shorten the already short lifespan of the insect.
Maybe a deadly pesticide or maybe somebody's crushing hands.
Unperturbed by the lurking dangers the insect went about its routine.
Do we humans also have the resilience of the insect?
Do we also beautify the environment?
Go about our routines unperturbed.
Unfazed by the lurking dangers.
Alas no! we dirty the environment
Try to destroy every threat to our already long lifespan.
I wish we could learn a lesson or two from the insect.
We could also beautify the environment and cause little harm to it.
We could also blend with nature and not destroy it.

Monday, August 14, 2017

Difficulties and inspiration

As I look yonder I see a mountain hill
Why do people compare difficulties with climbing a mountain?
No doubt, it is difficult to climb a mountain and therefore I think the analogy,
But after climbing the mountain, you get a breathtaking view
Is this true about difficulties too?
Does facing difficulties brings its rewards, not necessarily.
Sometimes you get rewards and at other times brickbats.
So should you face difficulties with a smile?
What if the outcome is brickbats?
But to think like an optimist--what if the outcome is breathtaking view?
Face difficulties with a straight face as they come.
Without looking yonder whether you will get rewards or brickbats.
Because the wisdom of life says--whatever you get roses or brickbats it will make you a better person.
Sweeter if you get rewards and tougher if you get brickbats.
So climb the hill of life, you never know what you will get.

Friday, August 11, 2017

Are we abreast with the times?

I have often heard people say that children these days are very smart, they play with technology. No doubt, children are smart and the future is theirs. But what about the present? To whom does it belong? Are you getting my drift? Yes, it belongs to us--people in their 20's and 30's and 40's and 50's and 60's and so on. The present is ours. Are we abreast with the times? Do we use technology in our day-to-day lives? These are some of the concerns I want to raise through this post. Have we become like the older generation who had given up and left every new thing for the future generation or are we in tune with the latest ideas and technology and are incorporating it fully into our lives?
Do you use the latest technology in your house, in your office and personal life? Is your kitchen choc-a-bloc with the latest utilitarian gadgets? Let's change that not choc-a-bloc, but at least has all the required gadgets and are you using them? Is your computer fully updated and do you use IT judiciously?
I have come across some teachers who use technology in their teaching to make their lessons more interesting for the learners. They are ensuring that the future generation will be using technology to make life easier and also make it better. But the best part is that they themselves are using technology in the present. They know how to make the best use of smartphones and use the technology at their disposal to make their lessons more interesting and easy to learn for their learners. These people are truly abreast with the times. They are not negative thinkers who do not use technology because of the hazards associated with it? Just think if all of us were afraid of the computers, you wouldn't be reading my post today and my thoughts would just stay bottled inside me.I want to reach out to all the negative thinkers who are afraid of technology and avoid using it. Please think of the benefits that technology has brought into our lives and made it easier and better and start using technology judiciously.

Tuesday, July 11, 2017

How times have changed?

Today I read about a Leukemia patient being cured and I was filled with awe. Way back in 1983, one of my schoolmates had died of Leukemia and it was so tragic. Today even a patient of lung cancer has been cured and is living a normal life. It is amazing how medical science has advanced.
Medical science never ceases to surprise me. In my childhood, a patient of schizophrenia was labeled as mad and ridiculed. Today they are leading normal lives, doing jobs and participating in normal activities and the society around them has accepted the fact that the patient has schizophrenia or bipolar disorder or schizoaffective disorder. India has really advanced.
I have heard that in America it is considered normal to see a counselor or psychiatrist if you are faced with a mental disorder. People do not look down upon them and it is considered a disease like just any other that can be cured. In India, we are still fighting for getting medical insurance for psychiatric patients. We still have a long way to go. I want this post to reach far and wide in India so that attitudes change and people start accepting all ailments as just another medical problem that can be cured.
Let's start a movement for treating all patients normally and accepting them in society without raising eyebrows. Karan Johar in his recent book, an Unsuitable Boy, has admitted to seeing a psychologist for depression, he has admitted to taking medicines for his problems. We need more and more such people to come forward and admit to the world that they have a problem and are taking medications for it and let's start accepting all patients as human beings who could suffer from ailments.

Monday, April 17, 2017

Sleepless Nights

Sleepless nights don't mean you are thinking of someone.
They often mean you are thinking of so many things.
Thoughts rush in through all windows--the mind's eye, the two eyes, ears
Every possible pore in your body is active and refuses to let you sleep.
Sleepless nights are when you watch TV in the middle of the night
Write poetry at 2 am and still your body refuses to sleep.
Sleepy days are an outcome of sleepless nights.
Both go hand in hand.
How do you find respite from sleepless nights.
The tired body and mind refuse to rest and you long for the knotted feeling in your stomach to release.
At the end of a sleepless night you rush to sleep
Receive some respite from the tiredness of your body and soul.

Sunday, April 16, 2017


Today we were cleaning our shelves. In the process we discovered old albums. Pictures of 90's and the following decade. These were our family pictures when we were young and our father was alive. While rummaging through the pictures my sister remarked, was I ever this young? The remark set my thought process rolling. Do we miss our days when we were younger? I think we miss the beautiful times we had together. Going on outings, shopping, cooking and eating out. These are things we are still doing and life is more relaxed. So, what do we miss? I think it is the presence of our father, who was in his sixties at that time and still lived life like a young man. He drove a scooter, did shopping for the house, looked after our pets and lived a full life.
I want to grow old like him, graceful and able till the very end of his life. I want that I should be walking on my own feet, till I'm dead.
Does nostalgia hit me every time I look at old pictures? Yes and no. Yes, because I do remember the beautiful old times and no my nostalgia is not limited to old pictures. Old friends, old cards, old e-mails do this to me. I think of the beautiful times we spent together. Not necessarily as young people but as happy people at all ages. I know that change is the only constant in life so dear soul move on the path till the very end, happy and cheerful.

Saturday, January 14, 2017

New experiences

One step at a time
One new experience at a time
New souls, new meetings,
Each one promises to embrace me with love, emotion and kindness.
Whispers in my ears of promised love
Make my mind dither to embrace the promised love
Or to move on a solitary soul
And never forget the lessons taught to you in childhood
songs like walk alone ring in my head.
The promised love pulls my heart strings,
But fear of unrequited love and remarks like it was an inexplicable phenomenon
Pull me back to my senses.
Sleepless nights and sleepy days add to the angst.
Oh lord give me some respite,
I too deserve peace.