Friday, February 13, 2015

Death at close quarters

She died at the tender age or 16 or 17 of blood cancer. This was one of the most tragic experiences in my adolescent years. I was 15, when the school came to know that Urmila ( name changed) had leukemia. Till then we had seen instances of it in movies where the hero or heroine died of blood cancer. But this was my first experience of death at close quarters. The bone marrow transplant had been discovered but Urmila could not get a donor.
I saw her when she came to school to collect her school leaving certificate. Her face was pale and she was wearing a mask on her face. After a few months we got the news that Urmila had succumbed to Leukemia.
Whenever I think of her I wonder whether she had known the all important emotion of love. Perhaps yes and perhaps no. In either case she must have experienced deep pain on knowing that she had been afflicted with Leukemia.
An army officer's daughter Urmila had a cushy life and was the most brilliant among her siblings. When I look back on the incident I feel God also takes away the most lively and the most bubbly. Perhaps up in heaven he needs lively people.
I dedicate this post to the memory of Urmila, a pretty girl who died at sixteen.

Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Yahoo Messenger

I recently read the book, "I too had a love story." Nice book. Very catchy and light. It took me back to the year 1998-99 when I used to chat on Yahoo messenger. There was no gtalk then. I met interesting people and also realized that beyond my surroundings there was an interesting world. I came across people living in far off countries and living a very different lifestyle. I also came across fellow Indians who had migrated to USA or had gone there for a short official trip. Times were fun I made many friends in the virtual world who taught me interesting things about life.
The matrimonial sites had newly started on the worldwide web. Dating sites had guys logged on to them.
The cute emoticons that Yahoo used were lovable and made chatting more fun.  Ravindra Singh's book transported me to those times. People used to stay awake late nights chatting into the wee hours of the night as phone call rates were half during night times and people had dial up connections. We would incur huge phone bills as I chatted a lot. Now the world has changed so much. I do not chat. I have what'sapp and almost everybody is logged on to it.
No longer do you come across interesting people, but the flip side of this is one gets more time to read and one doesn't get blank calls. Mobile phones are a blessing as no unknown calls and no harassment. Thank you Ravinder Singh for transporting me back in time.

Tuesday, February 3, 2015

A Meaningful Existence

Oh the ennui of it all
Is living a meaningful existence a compulsion or it follows the natural course of life?
Life, like a caged bird longing to be set free.
I, in my lonely world longing for attachment of some kind.
I reach out, I bend, I cry, I plead, but do not find a hand that reaches out to me.
Is this also, life or it is the inner torment of my heart and has little to do with a meaningful existence?
Do we attach meaning to life to make it more joyful?
Is simply existing not living?
Why give meaning to existence?
Let its futility unroll
Ah! perhaps another day I will be in a jubilant mood and find meaning in life.
I will also get away from this ennui and angst
Meanwhile, let’s play the game of life?

Hmmm, why insist?