I recently watched a Hindi movie called '3 Idiots'-- the chief protagonist-- a guy called Rancho, makes a remark that was funny, yet, thought provoking-- he says, "our heart is weak and it tends to panic when faced with difficulties, so keep telling it, 'all is well,’ and you will have the strength to live through problems."
Amusing! yet, so true. If we do not panic in difficult situations, we can find a solution to our problems. I have often found that, if we listen to our inner voice, we not only find out what we want but are also happier because we listened to our heart.
As human beings we constantly carry on an inner conversation with ourselves, every incidence in life evokes an inner response from us. Every day we come across situations that evoke myriad of emotions in us—happiness, sadness, frustration, tears. We can't control what happens outside, what we can do however is, control how we respond to these situations. Our response to these life events makes our personality.
Loss of job, heartbreak are situations that are not easy to cope with. You can end up blaming yourself or others—but, is that the right way to cope with the loss? The answer is an emphatic, NO! It's not. You should try and think what you learnt from the experience and also think-- well, I get a chance to explore more options now. I had a nice friend who had a very interesting way of coping with heartbreaks, he used to say, "only if she leaves a new one will come." He essentially meant that do not cry over spilt milk.
When I fell sick last year, my initial reaction was, "oh God! Why me?" I was worried about pending bills, me never recovering from the illness, today, I am fit and fine and have found an avenue of work that fulfills me and the best part is I no longer have to rush to an office I hated.
If you want to succeed you have to focus on success and not on failures. Long back I read a book called, "The Power of your Subconscious mind" by Dr Joseph Murphy, the book clearly states how you can program your mind to think positive. During my illness thinking positive and believing, something good is about to happen, helped me cope and move on.
Coping positively with failures is one way to do that. Life is full of ups and downs and we do not always come across people who are nice to us. Life is a rat race and if you get bogged down by the challenges it offers-- you can't enjoy the pleasure of living.
It is important to know that people around you can be jealous of your success-- we all know this, yet, when we come across manifestations of jealousy-- we either fail to recognize it or let the negativity pull us down. It is important that you recognize these signs and cope with it accordingly.
As human beings we are highly sensitive to criticism, when somebody criticizes us, we tend to get upset, we may show it outwardly or bottle it inside us. The best way to cope with criticism is either to take it as constructive criticism, if you feel you need to change, otherwise think that the other person is different from you.
At times our intuition tells us not to go for things, it stops us from day-dreaming, should you listen to this negative niggling voice, my answer is yes, this is not a negative voice, it is preparing you for possible failure. Never ignore your body's defense mechanism. It's like you want to participate in a beauty pageant, you are aware that the competition is going to be tough, but does that mean, you never participate? You should participate and give it your best shot. You will feel a deep sense of satisfaction because you tried, tell yourself, the winner was better than you.
Building a strong defense mechanism will not only help you in coping with stress, but also help you in coping with the stress associated with failures when you dare to live up to your dreams. Always have an intelligent and honest conversation with yourself that helps you grow as an individual.