Is Life in Control?

 For the past few years, I feel life is not in my control. I feel as if somebody is playing games with me. I meet people who are very nice to me initially and suddenly change, without any specific reason. They suddenly stop talking to me as if somebody has told them something about me behind my back. 

I keep losing good friends and positions, even though neither is my choice. I give my best shot and still I feel as if life is slipping from my hands. How to get back in control, I don't know. How to cut off negative people. How to be in charge of my choices in life, I don't know.

I know I am just ranting about my doubts and fears but how to ensure that things work out for me. Recently, I was very happy, things were working out for me but suddenly again something bad happened. I wonder if my fear is baseless or if something is actually working against me. Though I never feel lonely and am happy in life, these failures gnaw at my heart and make me doubt my capability. 

I have deep knowledge, good communication skills and good convincing skills. I succeed and suddenly things fall apart. Are my techniques wrong? Do I rub people the wrong way? Just don't have answers to my doubts and fears. I wish somebody would help me. 

Should learning cater to the modern learner?

 Let us begin by defining the modern adult learner. 18 plus, tech-savvy and used to different mediums of learning. The modern learners have faced lockdown or probably completed their education during the lockdown, where they had to increasingly study using online mediums like virtual classrooms, or online sessions through Zoom, MS Teams, Google Meet etc. What kind of training would they prefer? Instructor-led classroom sessions, Virtual instructor-led training or e-learning? The answer to that would definitely be the latter two. One reason for this simply could be the easy accessibility of the latter two. Secondly the ability to go through the recordings of the sessions multiple times to make the learning self-paced.

In the days of yore learning was classroom-based and much emphasis was laid on memorization. While,  when it comes to facts there is no denying the fact that memorization is still almost always the only way out.  But what about skill development or process-related learning, where the learner may need to develop hands-on practice, what would be a better method? It could be classroom training where learners learn to practice or maybe a simulation where the learners view and re-view the steps involved. 

As an instructional designer with considerable experience in the field, I feel that the learning should be bespoke. It should be designed keeping the demographics of the learner in mind. It should ensure that whatever content is being imparted through the training is grasped by the learner and absorbed and imbibed. To ensure these, it should use mediums of imparting that allow the learner to learn at their own pace which is not always possible in a traditional classroom or an instructor-led methodology. It is more possible with a recording or a video or an e-learning module. 

So when making an instructional design plan, keep the learner in mind and not necessarily the budget of the client. While it is easy to say,  educate the client about the validity of the method proposed by you, which is a herculean task but trying to convince is the only alternative to ensuring that your learning is effective and effective learning is the only learning that delivers results. 

How to deal with negative people

 In everyday work, we all come across people who are negative, cunning and manipulative. Many of them display their negativity upfront and some are sweet as sugar on the face and strike behind your back. While you can deal very well with the first kind of negativity by retorting back or remaining calm while the verbal assault is on, it is very difficult to deal with the second kind of negativity. When somebody speaks negatively behind your back, you are unaware of what the other person is saying. You take their sweet as sugar front to be true and trust them and all the while they are backstabbing you. 

Recently, I came across such an experience and when I faced negative feedback from my boss, I realized what this friend of mine was doing. I was trying to figure out a way of dealing with this and trying to understand why I was constantly feeling nervous and stressed. Why were negative thoughts crowding my mind?

Then on discussing it with a colleague I realized that my friend was the cause of all this. I also asked my colleague how to deal with the situation. He advised that I should also maintain a sweet as sugar façade and while I can't backstab, I can always remain alert as to how she would behave in future and stop me from trusting her. I accepted his advice as he had met the same treatment from her and decided to be cautious more than anything else. 

How do you deal with such a person? Do you expose them if you are able to or do you remain cautious or speak upfront and tell them you know their tactics and are not going to become a victim? 

Are anxiety and worrying normal?

 When you are going through a phase where you are waiting for an outcome of some action you have taken, are anxiety and worrying normal? Are they part and parcel of this phase?

For instance, if you have given an interview and are waiting for the outcome, is constantly checking the mobile phone or your email account acceptable? Or alternatively, you should adopt a stoic's attitude and keep a calm mind and leave the outcome to God? Do your best and leave unto God the rest. Easier said than done.

Typically we are anxious and worried, but the right attitude to adopt is the stoic's attitude and not be flustered by ups and downs. This ensures good health. A calm mind gives you worry-free sleep and happiness and whatever the outcome of your action you take it in your stride.

So though you may feel worried and anxious, try to keep a calm mind and leave the outcome to God. That is the ideal attitude to adopt. 

The Ups and Downs of Life

 Life is so quirky, sometimes it takes an uphill swing and sometimes a downhill swing. While we are enjoying the joys of the uphill swing, we completely forget what will happen when life will take a downward swing. But, when the downward swing actually hits us we realize that it is time to introspect. Think about all the little mistakes we made that caused the downfall. 

How important are both the phases of life and should we take these little moments seriously? Uphill swing or downward swing, how does it matter? They are but moments of life and life should not be taken too seriously as nobody is going to get out of it alive.

So are these introspections a waste of time? Or they are a way of trying to give some meaning to life while we are sojourning it. I think this should be it. Give meaning to life while we are going through it. It makes it more joyful, satisfying. 

For the satisfaction of the inner self, we must introspect, try to correct our little mistakes, try to do better, make sure we don't repeat our mistakes and thus live a more satisfying and fruitful life. Life is short and though we won't be remembered eternally after we are gone while we are here we should try to give greater meaning to life. 

So introspect everytime you are on a downhill swing and try to learn from your mistakes.